Friday, 22 November 2013

Worst Games - Wayne's World

Debuting new section in Joeman's Games,  that will cover all of putrid, foul and hideous that exists in the world of gaming.

Prepare to meet the opposite of Retro Treasures, where everything stinks and sucks!
With you, WORST GAMES!



Wayne's World (SNES)

Who shit this?
 Gray Matter / THQ


Also suffers at: NES and Mega Drive 

Number of sufferers: 1



Brand new section, with new smelling, everything new, deserves a great debut. I bet some here should know this fetid piece of the past.

Based on the movie Wayne's World (1992), the game has two idiots as protagonists of the film, Wayne and Garth.

look to the mtfk face


In the game, we controls (or try to do this) Wayne, played by Mike Myers in the movie. I am not going to talk about the movie, since I've only seen a few scenes and I think it's a complete rubbish, dull, with actors forcing a crude comedy, unsalted, rotten and again, bland.  Also I will not say that I do not like Mike Myers too, but anyway, I'm ALREADY TALKING TOO MANY OF THESE GUYS! ¬ ¬!

The game consists of walking through a scenario based on MUSIC, with drums, guitars, strings, cords, speakers and everything that is related to music. I do not know if this shit follows the movie, but  lacked much a wider variety of scenarios and enemies, as well as greater whim of art direction of the game (if it existed).

Controlling Wayne, your only concern will be to get out alive of this musical maze: and you only have jump and attack. The attack is a guitar chord that hits enemies and can be increased with items from the scene. Just do not ask me which items, because the game is so messy that I think no one ever stopped to view the operation of each item.


                                                                          O M G
Well, when pressing start, your problems begin. Your character, so bizarre, it's funny. He walks bizarrely, jumps and attacks even stranger. The controls have a delayed response, but I think this was done to match the mental retardation of the protagonists.

After wandering the stage and die a few times, you'll end up finding a way to win! Yes, the next stage is equal! And the other one too, then the next and then after .... Enough! I did not play beyond the second stage, because I had to pick my brain on the floor that ran through the ear from hearing the digitized voices of  guys screaming all the time.

Wayne whimpers something  inaudible when he die, something like "isno ORTII, isno ORTIII ....", but I was Googling and found that it is "WE'RE NOT WORTHY" what the bastard screams when he dies ¬ ¬!

Even discovered that there is a second film about this shit, I'm glad that not have the idea of ​​making another game, because would have another  foul post today!


WE'RE NOT WORTHYYY and special item being used ... yes, special item ¬¬

On the net say that there are two versions of this crap, one for NES  and another for Mega. How can crap in 3 different directions the same shit? Doubt? Look at the  shit NES version down there:



what a beautiful game, is not it?

The Mega Drive version is identical to the SNES, which needs no introduction ¬ ¬!

If Wayne's World had been better adapt ...... well, if the game had ....... AHH, FUCK! This does not have salvation! Nor had it been made ​​by SEGA or NINTENDO at the time, was going out the same shit, as it is based on shit.

But if you want to risk, good luck!   

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Retro Treasures - Crystalis (NES)

Today debut a new section, designed to show and disseminate unknown games (or almost) of the gaming world.

Are rare gems, those generally makes the player think, "hey, as I've never heard of this game?". Obviously, nowadays many already know most of these, but even so, for those who do not know, , is it worth digging up these true relics and show that in the past many treasures remain buried. For those who already know, is like reviewing a great friend that no longer appeared.

So, good read!




Crystalis

Genre: RPG


Year: 1990 (NES) / 2000 (GBC)

By: SNK

Players: 1


Inaugurating our new section, an RPG for the NES, but unfortunately, it was quite forgotten and few people are aware of its existence: Crystalis.

Contrary to what many think, this RPG was not made by Square and yes, by newcomer in the area (SNK), famous soft experienced in fighting games. Crystalis may be considered a rare jewel for this more reason.



The story of Crystalis is simple:



The story continues showing a computer screen where the player needs a name ... of him, a being  of pink hair leaves (on the cover looks like a woman) and so the game begins.

The beginning is that discovery: the locals are surprised you have "waked", but it seems that everyone has waited for this, because the first house I entered the guy gave me a buck saying that Zebus had left there, if I woke up.
From then on, the player will discover the secrets and the plot unfolds.

Crystalis, before anything else, is an action RPG, similar to Zelda and Golvellius. You control the main character in maps, often huge and cities too.
The fights take place in real time, as in the aforementioned Zelda and Golvellius. But, in Crystalis, the thing is very well neater, at least graphically.

getting the first sword

To start, your character moves diagonally, giving more freedom of movement. While Kelesis and Link only move in 4 directions, Crystalis is possible to exit diagonally and even more repeatedly attacking enemies.

And killing enemies usually gives money, the coins jump when them they die.

The maps are themed, and, at first, is very similar to Golvellius, with undergrowths, some trees and rocks.

The vegetation can also disrupt, since it possible to enter them. When in the woods, your character moves more slowly and the enemies are partially hidden too.

There are many passages in the game: from the outset, in the cave to the left, a man in the end of it gives a hint to be able to continue the game.  There are many minutiae for the player to go discovered over time.


In addition, the game features a whole RPG face: accessories, weapons, armor and items that can be equipped in a proper menu, which also differs from the other two games already mentioned.

One thing that Golvellius can take advantage over Crystalis is the variety of gameplay:  maps,  side-scrolling, shooter. In Crystalis, the whole game is from the perspective of air, but he makes up for it with more diverse areas to explore, such as cities, towns, houses, and so on.


If you want to know a different RPG, but at the same time remember the good times of Zelda or Golvellius, take a chance to Crystalis.

A forgotten game, but that should not giving anything to others of the same genre.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Review - Megaman X (SNES)


Year: 1994 
Who did:
 Capcom
 
System:
 SNES
 
Players:
 1

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: NOTES ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Lupin's Review ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Mega Man ​​X, Capcom's classic robot, reached the SNES with the surname X and a parallel story to tell.

This absolute classic, you control Megaman in thematic stages, choosing  bosses on a menu. Yes, it's like the old classic games of the series, but things have changed a lot ....

Besides charts, X can now find pieces of armor at specific stages, collecting hearts to increase energy and find up to 4 sub-tanks to store energy for use at those times of distress.

Both graphics and music are perfect! The gameplay is smooth, precise and perfect, Capcom is really master in this game!

Megaman X is one more mandatory game on the SNES , which reminds me that I just picked the cream of the console until now .... hm ... I think it's time to start showing the dark side of some islands in the next review heheheheheehe. BWAHAHAHAHA ..!!


Final Score: 10

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Top 10 beautiful SNES games


Top 10 beautiful SNES games

For some time I've been thinking about how to make these special: list the 10 most beautiful games for the Super Nintendo system. I researched a bit and finally managed to make a coherent list. Keep in mind that the list was based on my personal preference and knowledge, therefore, not worth as any rules.
There may well be unknown games that can be wonderful,  but many should not know them, so can definitely  put the names and I can even make a second list of readers' opinions.
Another caveat: the list is not intended to elect the best damn game, because I  not see grace in electing the most beautiful game of all, and yes, the 10 most beautiful games.
The numbering is simply to arrange the list, seen that there is an injustice to the system to catalog with only 10 beautiful games, as the SNES is much more than that ...
So, enough of the bullshit and let's go to list!

10 - Actraiser II


Here's a game to make competition with other games, including games released today.
ActRaiser 2 follows the pattern of the first game, but more focused on the PRACTICE than in STRATEGIC, with more fighting and exploration.
The graphics are beautiful, full of effects, but what stands out is the absurd  use of color in the stages.
On the first step you realize the quality of the graphics, the forest seems alive and enemies, real.
Unfortanely, the game is SO hard. Click here to know the other stages and bosses of the game! 

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9 - Super Castlevania IV


Castlevania was a long awaited series on the SNES, due to the huge success on the NES, his older brother.
And arrived in style: kept the same gameplay and improved everything from graphics to sounds, levels and weapons.
SCIV is beautiful from beginning to end: from gardens and vines on old gates to streams, forests, dank caves and  bizarre castles, everything was very neat.

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8 - Rockman & Forte


Megaman arrived in his ninth game of the classic series and gained a friend to split the screen: FORTE.
The little  black and purple robot go for it with their followed shots , and can even shoot diagonally.
But not only that it calls attention to the game: it seems that Capcom decided to do the final  Megaman for SNES. Since items, screens and enemies, all the characters and stages are neat in the extreme. So much so that some people turned up their noses to Megaman 9 because they wanted it to be something of this quality here ....

===================================================================

7 - Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island



One of the biggest and best platform games of all time, came out, unfairly, in a period where few gave importance to the SNES. Most  people wanted  Saturn and Playstation with their polygonal games. But I tell you: this game is one of the greatest games I've ever had the pleasure of playing to the end. It is a game where creativity has no limits, where creativity has taken the place of graphics, sound, gameplay, because it was practically melted in each byte of the cartridge.
We have memorable songs, huge castles filled with secrets, colorful thematic stages and one of the most charming in graphic styles of the time. Everything seems to have been done by hand, with crayons, remembering our much gibberish in pre school. Finally, lack of praise for this work!

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6 - Donkey Kong Country 2


The whole trilogy is beautiful, but if I had to highlight a game for all that it involves, would be the second version.
More diversified stages,  more diverse gameplay, more bonuses, more maps, more items, more elements of scenery, more neat ... Donkey Kong Country 2 is all that and more.
I think the most striking stage of the game is the nostalgic  hive of honey, with a reallyunique look.

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5 - Tales of Phantasia


Good RPG , and when I say this, believe me.
Here's a walkthrough of the game, could also check out the game and I confess I was surprised: it gives to confuse with any Playstation RPG of the same style.
Effects of shade and clouds, the  used colors and all the whimsy in cities and valleys, the game surprises at each location that reaches, the story is very cool.
The early opening is already impressive: a song starts in the opening, which shows the main characters. The game was limited to the Japanese market, but the  team translators DEJAP made ​​the miracle to translate the game into English, making it playable on this side of the planet.

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4 - The Adventures of Batman & Robin


Even today it is a game that surprises me by whim and faithfulness to the cartoon.
It is beautiful and a good game to play, although it is difficult in a few steps. Both in the Mega and SNES, made ​​a surprising work.

===================================================================

3 - Axelay



 A  space shooter game with rotation during all stages? This is Axelay, which was one of the first SNES games and even today surprising some players.
Bosses are the highlight, one larger than the other and  weird than the other. Although difficult, it is worth to try and get to the farthest bosses.


===================================================================

2 - Mario RPG


Joined Square and Nintendo? The result is this - a unique RPG, with unique characters and a graphic style, UNIQUE.
The story, even cliché, now serves as the backdrop for a different adventure in the kingdom of mushrooms. Now Mario can not jump on turtles, he chooses options, uses powers and attacks from the front the hands and with enemies hands. It is a new way of seeing Mario in action, courtesy of Square.

===================================================================

1 - Star Ocean




Ok, it may not be the most beautiful, but competes with a lot of games.
The quality of the vegetation of the game is what draws attention here, the  detail surpasses Tales of Phantasia.
And to overcame Tales, the game has to be beatiful.


Well, these were the ''top 10 beatiful SNES games''. Missed some? Want to suggest something? Feel at ease. 

Monday, 18 November 2013

Review: Double Dragon Advanced (GBA)



Double Dragon Advanced

Year: 2003 
Who did:
 Atlus
 
System:
 GBA
 
Players:
 1 or 2

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: NOTES ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Lupin's Review ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Really, Atlus did a good fucking game. A new completely version, chilled, reworked  and neat of Double Dragon, where the brothers Lee punch a bunch of thugs.

Maria went to the pagoda again and AGAIN was kidnapped, left for the dragon  brothers to save her, AGAIN! These Marias ....

The stages are almost the same as the original, but with some good news, as the train stage, where ''you fall/you die'', some abundant weapons, and new enemies (cry, fans), pictures of bosss and characters between the stages, the famous cutscenes. Finally got to see the Abobo's face!

get out, get out

Double Dragon Advanced is pleasurable to play, have solid controls and easy to grab and go knocking on everyone. But, as in all Double Dragon, to do some moves you need to press some buttons together, in case, are four : A, B, L and R. The combination of them generates new moves, flying, head butting, elbowing, throws and other sweet and fluffy things.

Although there are numerous versions,  the Game Boy Advanced version is almost perfect, with 2 player modes and a survival for sadomasochistic to fighting without stopping and still has new designs of stages  and sounds totally redone.

To further improve, new weapons (nunchaku, sticks and other toys make front of batons, knives and whips) were included.

Anyway, if you want a GREAT fighting game, get this without fear. It is one of the best games I ever played, but unfortunately it is well forgotten.

Final Score: 10